gnom gnom gnom

back in the groove

because of a week away from denver and my nannying duties, it took a couple of days to get back in the flow with two babes. but after some long walks, some visits to dustin at happy, and some serious nap times, we're all good. and just in time for the weekend.

***
claudia: thanks! 
marcie: ramona is a quarter you! we loved being in town. thanks for taking such good care of us. you are a fabulous mama and nona.
melinda: time flies by w babies and their development. it's insane!

best baby stuff

this post is inspired by a post over at no one thing. so i am just going to take her list and revise it a bit for my own experience. listen up.

didymos wrap. if you've been reading my blog for the past nine weeks then you understand why this thing is amazing. and by this thing i mean any woven wrap that is meant to hold your baby close to you without dangling it by the crotch (like some other unmentionable carriers that seem to think it's ok to dangle little baby bjorn by his goodies [and eight other reasons forward-facing carriers might not be the best bet]). ramona loves this being wrapped up and worn and it's often the best way to get her to fall asleep (though the swing works in the morning and the boob works in the evening). wrapping her on my back allows me to keep her close to me even while i'm running around the house doing laundry or tending to the chickens or holding another fussy baby or trying to wash some dishes. babywearing is key. at least in this mother/daughter relationship.

rump-a-rooz cloth diapers. granted, cloth diapering is SO much easier if you A) stay at home an B) own a washer and dryer. lucky for us we are both. we knew, off the bat, that we would be cloth diapering little ramona. it's both economical and more environmentally-friendly. we at first considered pre-folds with diaper covers but then my friend aubrey showed us the magic of one-size-fits-all pocket diapers. this means ramona will wear the same diapers until she's potty-trained. hooray! thus far, they're working out just fine. she leaks sometimes but nothing horrendous and, a blow out is a blow out. i've seen a blow-out on a disposable diapered boy. if poop is going to come out it's going to come out. pee is a different story and i would say that cloth diapers tend to leak a little more in that department. learn the art of double-stuffing or stuffing with hemp liners. (p.s. this is how i met robin from no one thing. she sold me some bum geniuses off craigslist).

if you care anything about researching your labor options and also think that a natural childbirth is something you would want to consider read these:

ina may's guide to childbirth

birthing from within

if you decide you want to go that route, email me and we'll talk more in-depth.

if you want to breastfeed your child you MUST read this:

the womanly art of breastfeeding. i found much encouragement in this book as it told me to buck the worries of documenting every poopy diaper or time i breastfed on an iPhone app and to just relax and pull out that boob. of course, it directed me to resources for help if i didn't have it and assured me that frustration and difficulty are the norm when getting used to having your boobs sucked on constantly throughout the day. it's written by la leche league international, a free resource for every woman that may need it.

aden + anais blankets. beautiful, soft, versatile. pray that those who give you blankets (and there will be many) choose to give you these.

pre-fold diapers we thought we might go this route for diapers for ramona. instead, we use the ones we got as spit-up rags, changing pads, burp cloths, and all-around-catch-the-nasty-stuff-coming-from-your-baby towels. there are at least two--clean and ready--in each room of our house.

sic my brest friend. jp and i still can't get over the stupidity of the name. and it's not even the play-on words that bother us: why the company didn't name it my BREAST friend (which would have made it an actual pun) is beyond us. that nuance aside, this thing really was a lifesaver when i was first learning to breast feed and ramona was latching on to my boobs every two hours (which really ends up being every hour and a half) for the first two weeks. it continued being useful when she was taking 20 minutes to half an hour during her nursing sessions. the my bre[a]st friend allowed me to lay her across it and still comfortably maneuver her mouth to where it had to go on my chest without me having to hold her up all the time. now that ramona can basically seat herself upon my lap i've passed it on to another friend that recently had a little one. but i'll want it back for when our second one comes along (don't worry, that's not for a little bit).

american apparel sleep sacks. just really wonderful: fit nice and easy to change diapers in the middle of the night if need be.

co-sleeping pillow. i can't find a link for it now (and i assure you it's not those scary contraptions at babies'r'us) but a co-sleeping pillow/snuggler/thing was a lifesaver when we thought we were going to roll over and suffocate our newborn bean. of course, we didn't. and we still probably wouldn't have without this pillow. but it sure eased our fears. ramona fit perfectly inside of it and we were able to snuggle against it and have her right in between us. now she still sleeps in between us, just without this pillow as she's outgrown it.

oxo candela glow lights. these have been perfect for middle-of-the-night happenings. they're just bright enough so i can see what i am doing (changing a dirty diaper or guiding my boob into her mouth) but dim enough that they don't bother jp or wake up ramona too much. for the first couple of weeks i needed a light on so that i could always see her sleeping. my bedside light was way too bright that it was interrupting my sleep. i was so thankful when i discovered these and they arrived in the mail.

what products made your life better with a new little one? or what products do you have questions about?

vignette

have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.

--william morris

the way i had dropped the diaper bag on the front bench caught my eye the other day.
i know that material stuff is not what a life should revolve around but i do love owning beautiful things.

***
melinda: lizzie and i spent some time on tuesday talking about how much we both love you and wish you lived closer! and how cute ramona and asher would be. also, my rule (as of now) for toys for ramona includes nothing that requires a battery or makes obnoxious noises. i'm sure it helps with the stimulation and imagination, as you say, but i also would go extra insane if those were in our tiny home!
claudia: thank you. we think she's cute too! and i think i first discovered the leka via your blog. so hooray!

man. that couch sure needs a good steam clean.

apparently, we care more about ramona and jp's whiskey than we do about otto.

bathroom remodel (image heavy, sorry)

we closed on our house sometime in april 2010. the next day we took a hammer to a wall in our old bathroom.

 

 

discovering, gasp!, a window back there, we decided to rip out the wall, as well as the contractor's shower.

 

and then we tore up three layers of nasty flooring. 

 

but jp did a fantastic job at eventually making the floors look pretty. 

a year later, almost to the day, we have a fully functional, beautiful bathroom. everything but the toilet was replaced. we (actually it was all jp with some help from his brother and his father) did everything ourselves--plumbing, tiling, window installation, pouring the concrete sink, blah blah blah. i think my only contribution was hanging the shelves. and they're slanted. oops. 

voila!:

now someone with actual photography skills come take pretty pictures--i'm not-so-secretly fantasizing that EJA would be up for the task. i'm wanna submit this beauty to apartment therapy!

mornings with papa

ramona and i rarely get to lounge in bed with jp since he is gone by 5:30 most mornings for work at crema. on this rare morning during his birthday week, we all took advantage of having nothing more important to do than wake up with each other.

speaking of, crema's been getting some press. take a look!

denver post (jp's interviewed in the video)

westword

ramona bean's birth story

below is what i have already written in my baby book for ramona. i've transcribed it here bc to go back and edit and revise would be as exhausting as the labor itself. please excuse any possible incoherence.

ramona bean, you were "due" on july, 11. i swore up and down that you would be earlier than that. that day arrived and still no sign of you. i was bummed bc i was so anxious to meet you! so i went and got a thai massage and the masseuse tried some acupressure. but as any good midwife will tell you (and mine did many times) those natural labor inducers only really work if you are already showing signs of labor. i was not. this was a monday.

but stubborn as i am i continued trying other methods of coaxing you out: papa and i went on long walks every morning, had sex, ate REALLY spicy foods, and drank some wine to relax me. nada. until wednesday when i went out with some girlfriends for dinner and wine and the david gray concert. you loved that concert! you were kicking and dancing and jiving. i really enjoyed that concert too: time out with good friends, soulful music, lots of time with my hand on you in my belly just feeling you groove. after the concert we walked back to the parking garage and--wouldn't ya know it--my water broke in the elevator! it wasn't the gush you see in the movies but a small trickle i couldn't stop. this made all us girls giddy and giggling. i called papa and maren on the drive home. i was to go to bed and maren would be over in the morning -- unless there was more action (contractions) during the middle of the night.

all night i waited for these contractions to start. they didn't and, again, i was bummed. maren came in the morning and confirmed my hindwaters had broken. technically, active labor had to begin within 24 hours of the waters breaking or i was supposed to go to the hospital to get induced. mama and papa did not want this. so we stayed in all day on thursday --except for a walk to happy and a big, huge lunch at hops & pie-- and played with my nipples. sounds silly, i know! but nipple stimulation (and making out) is highly effective at releasing oxytocin and getting those contractions flowing. except for me. there were some contractions heightened by the stipple nimulation (as papa and i started to call it) but they weren't exactly rhythmic or time-able -- signs of labor. i was frustrated.

bc my waters had broken we were still on a time crunch -- even if papa and i had decided to flout one set of guidelines. so thursday night we went to bed knowing that if, in the morning, i still was not having labor contractions, i would be taking castor oil.

so at 5:30 the next morning, a friday, when my contractions were still puny and ineffective, i chugged 1.5 oz of castor oil mixed with Recharge. By 6:15 the contractions had started. they were a lot more intense than the braxton-hicks i'd been experiencing up until then. maren arrived around 7:00 and i took another dose at 7:33. by 8:00, when the contractions were getting a lot harder than i anticipated, i had your papa call pam --a family friend and doula-- to have her come over.

papa was with me entire time. at first my contractions were just bad enough i that had to concentrate during them but could still talk in between them. but by the time maren got back from her walk and pam arrived at the house, i was in labor land and couldn't talk to anyone. bc of the effects of the castor oil, i spent much of my time laboring on the toilet. like a champ, your papa sat right down in front of me (foregoing our married rule of no pooping with the door open) and stayed with me through it all --even though most of it wasn't pleasant! he was so incredible and supportive and quiet and loving and steadfast and just the right amount of concerned. i could not have done it without him and all his words and touches of affirmation.

i was having back labor bc you were posterior, you little stinker. and that hurts a lot. we tried positions during contractions to turn you but you were stubborn (like your mama). i didn't want the tub or the birth stool or the lunge or any other fancy positions. they hurt. i just wanted the toilet or to stand against the wall in the hallway.

it got hard fast and i didn't think i was going to be able to do it. i had no idea how long it was all going to take and that annoyed me. i asked to go to the hospital and i dreamed of how good an epidural might feel. but your papa reminded me what i had wanted for so long for your birth, little bean; how i'd researched and planned and dreamt of your arrival in our home long before you were even conceived in our head. i was not happy and i was really angry at the pain and the process but i knew your papa was right.

they laid me down in bed to try and give me some rest. when i wasn't having rushes it felt marvelous and i searched for seconds of sleep --something i had been able to find in the moments in between rushes on the toilet. but then, lying there, a contraction would come and it was the worst yet. pam lightly rocked me and papa whispered in my ear -- these things helped a little bit but really i just wanted to give up.

finally i bolted upright realizing i needed a change and that's when i felt it: i was transitioning. so i ran to the bathroom sink and puked my guts out. i hadn't thrown up since i was ten-years-old. it felt amazing! and for a moment the rushes eased up. there was just enough time for papa to walk me over to the tub, rest his forehead on mine, gently grab my face and, with tears in his eyes, tell me how proud he was of me. i married the most incredible man.

so i got into the warm tub (set up in our dining room) and, clutching the side, squatting and leaning forward, i worked through rush after rush that was slamming my body. i got about 20 seconds break for every two minutes of intensity. papa sat in front of me and grasped my hands (but not before he found a moment to put on portishead, the only music he had remembered me mentioning i would want to listen to), pam stood over me and rubbed my back (hard!) while reminding me to open up and let go and release. maren checked me and i was 8 cm dilated -- a large and fast change from the previous 4 or 5. the rushes kept coming and eventually i started feeling the sensation to push. maren checked me again and i was 10 cm!

i was so ready to have you out so mama did not mess around. i started pushing and pushing and screaming and grunting and groaning. maren reminded me of the proper technique for breathing and that definitely calmed me down and focused me. i kept pushing and could feel you moving closer, further down. but my position wasn't ideal and maren wanted me to lean back and squat. but it hurt so bad that way! finally they got me where they needed me and i pushed some more and reached down and could feel your head just inside my vagina. a couple more pushes and one primal scream and your head was out! papa was in awe but i didn't even want to look down bc i just wanted to keep focusing on working to get you out. they asked if i wanted to reach down and touch you but, again, i was so intent on getting you out as fast as possible and didn't want to be distracted. ha.

your shoulders were twisted a little so maren, with the help of papa, got me into a sort of runner's lunge position. i pushed one more time and, 8.5 hours after all of this started, i could feel you come right on out. and then WHOOSH you were up out of the water and placed on my chest. but not before i noticed you were a girl, my ramona marilyn.

oh, how i loved holding you! you were white and wrinkly and slimy and mine. your breathing was a little rough so they gave you some quick mouth-to-mouth puffs and put an oxygen mask on your and we waited 30 minutes until whatever was going on in your tiny lungs was worked out by your coughing and crying.

we got out of the tub and the three of us crawled into bed where we held you close and loved on you. i delivered the placenta and, along with papa cutting your umbilical cord, seeing that go was a bit weird. you and i were no longer one and you are officially your own person. and now papa and i get to raise you to continue to be your own person. we fell in love with you so fast and so hard. you are the best.

what a new family needs

early on in my pregnancy, a dear and thoughtful friend sent me a link to a blog post that sums up what a new family needs but might not always ask for. she explained to me it was her way of committing to help jp and i in a simple but powerful way when little bean arrives -- and in ways that aren't always easy to ask for. this list of things she sent me were things i didn't even know i would want after bean's birthday. but as the day gets closer this list hits it right on the money. and every time i read her email or read this list i get tears in my eyes thinking of what an awesome community this little bean is going to be born into. between our family, our friends and our coworkers, we have some pretty amazing people looking out for us. thank you.

1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.

2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size medium).

3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.

4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.

5. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don’t ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.

6. Put a sign on my door saying “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”

7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It’s tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.

8. Take my older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.

9. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, pub, hockey rink or some other r & r that will delight him. Fold more laundry.

10. Make me a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.

this list ripped off from this blog post.