week 34

dear little bean, 

these past couple weeks have been a little harder on mama. i'm still slowly gaining the normal pound a week (1/2 pound in your body weight and 1/2 pound in fluids), which is a good and healthy thing. but my hands and feet are puffy and i often find myself on the couch with my feet propped up to relieve some of the swelling. i think i'm finally reaching that part women have told me about: the home stretch when things just get a little more uncomfortable and i just want you out.

i'm still going to yoga but i do have to modify the crap out of the poses. standing forward fold? ha. my feet are as wide as the mat just to make room for the belly. chaturanga? forget about it. it kills my wrists and chubby hands. it's straight to downward facing dog for me. or a couple of modified pushups if i'm feeling stubborn. and savasana? even with a bolster i'm not too comfortable for long lying flat on back. 

but i find that these physical discomforts i'm going through have forced me to slow down and spend more quiet time with you each day. there's foot-propping on the couch, and power naps, and simply sitting in the chair with my hand on my belly talking with you while i catch my breath or rest my aching aching feet. i locate the landmarks of your teeny body through my skin and pat them lovingly. we listen to music and podcasts and move about the house slowly, cleaning and putting away things and checking on the chickens and rubbing otto's belly and enjoying the sunshine while we weed the garden. you are there with me through all of this.

i'm still SO in love with my large belly. each day, after a shower or getting dressed for bed, there are longer moments in front of the mirror running my hand up and down and around my bump. i'm in constant awe that you are in there and that i am growing you! i don't think that's ever going to go away even when i'm desperately wishing i didn't have 40 extra pounds to carry around so my feet would not look like an elephant's. it's all worth it. and i haven't even met you yet! 

 love, 

mama